Like other types of therapy, couples therapy can be intimidating to think about. Although everyone will go through challenging times within their romantic relationships, several couples will not seek out help even when it would be beneficial. Ironically, several couples seek out couples therapy as a final effort to restore their relationship when, in actuality, couples therapy is usually its most impactful and effective as a preventative tool or when first noticing that there may be an issue. So how do you know when it’s time to have a third party to support and counsel? We’ve compiled a list of signs that you may want to engage with a professional.
Constant Conflict
While every couple will run into conflict, noticing an increase within disagreeing may be an indicator that a professional could help. We want to try and remember that the goal isn’t to ‘not fight’ but more-so create boundaries, rules, and structure for arguments.
Continual Criticism
If you notice that the relationship can’t go a day without criticizing one another, it might be time to seek out support. Realistically, this is a sign that there may be a breakdown in communication regarding how to support and articulate your needs. A therapist would be able to assist you through the process of assessing your needs, coach you in how to voice your needs, and outline how to receive someone else’s needs in a way that encourages collaboration, respect, and support.
Big Life Changes
Remember how we mentioned that couples therapy is also a helpful preventative tool? If you have a life changing event on the horizon like; getting married, having a child, or loss of a loved one, engaging in couples counseling might help the couple navigate through change in a way with structure. No matter how resilient the relationship may be, having a space to discuss how the change is going may also provide a comfort and shared time to engage in relationship self-care.
Distance Emotionally or Physically
If you notice that you have been withdrawn or your partner is withdrawing, it might be a sign to see a therapist to help unpack and understand where this response is coming from. While everyone is allowed to take space, sometimes feelings can be challenging to unpack, which is why a professional may be helpful when it comes to discussing why there is a gap forming between the partners.
Unresolved Issues
As much as we like to think ‘sweeping it under the rug’ means that it won’t come up again, we need to remember that not engaging with the issue might not provide us with closure. Adapting an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ framework might end up with someone stifling their feelings or suppressing their needs. Engaging in couples therapy can be really beneficial when it comes to discussing issues that feel exhausting because there is a different, neutral perspective in the room that may provide you with a different way to approach and resolve the ongoing stressor.
As always, this isn’t an exhaustive list of reasons to go to couples counseling. As we have stated, early intervention may make a huge impact in relationship health, ongoing support and increased understanding of your needs and wants within partnership.
The information on this website is not intended to diagnose or treat any medical or psychological condition and is not a substitute for therapy. If you are experiencing an emergency please call/text 988 or go to your nearest emergency room.
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